1,232.5

Through the gift of God and my two angels I was able to donate 1,232.5 ounces of breast milk to help other fragile, sick babies in the NICU.  When we first lost the boys all I wanted to do was be done pumping, it felt like it was something that would constantly remind me of the sadness I had and was to much for me to handle.  So I attempted to start weaning myself but as I was trying to wean, my body was just starting to ramp up to provide for our two children I just delivered, this made it very painful.  I then decided I would wait till my body was more steady till I weaned, I was going to give all the milk to my older sister (this would just be easier).  However, as I produced more and more I felt something tell me that I was producing to much to just be giving it to my sister who wasn’t in dire need for it.  It then only made sense to me to start storing it and reach out to the milk bank that the Avera NICU, that the boys’ resided in, used to see if I was qualified to donate.  As the process to donate started, I started to find some peace and relaxation with pumping, it gave me a sense of comfort knowing not only myself but my boys are able to have a huge impact on other children’s lives.  John 15:13 states “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends”  That is exactly what my boys were called to do.  They laid down their lives for their friends, friends we may never know, but friends my boys will know while they watch over and protect the fragile with the gift of their breast milk.  I may never understand fully why Noah and Theo couldn’t be here on Earth with Gavin and I but I do know that their lives will save many other lives simply by providing me the ability to produce a surplus of breastmilk to donate.  The journey to 1,000 ounces was short but oh so sweet, something I will cherish until I see my boys again.

For any mother out there with a surplus of milk I encourage you to look into donating.  For other mothers out there who may be in the same situation as me and you feel called to donate or need someone to talk to please do not hesitate to reach out to me.  And for mothers who are in similar situations as me but aren’t producing or it’s to much to think about donating, that’s okay there is no right or wrong way to cherish and honor your baby(s).  The journey is not easy but you are not alone.